It's Not About Me...What???!!!

Yeah, that's a newsflash. It's not about me. How do you figure? If it's not about me, then what is it about? So many questions! I have been trying, however unsuccessfully, to read through The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. The first day...THE FIRST DAY...he decides to throw a curveball and shake the foundation of how I live my life. How dare he?! That just seems mean. To disrupt the life of a person who is just happy going through life without a care in the world other than himself is something out of the worst suspense movie you have ever watched. It's like having the Shyamalan twist at the beginning. It's like having the chain come off of the bike before you put your feet in the pedals. Well, there's nothing left to do but admit that he has found me out. A lot of my life has been lived trying to please myself. Selfishness is what some people call it, and if I recall, I touched on this on a previous post. Living in marriage has shown how much my life has been wrapped up in myself. I have pursued things that in the end would make me comfortable and happy. Manipulating the situation so that the outcome is favorable to me is a task I take to like a seasoned pro. Heather, my wife, has really made me realize more of the depth of my selfishness. The problem is, how does one correct this internal issue? The answer, I don't know. Some say that the first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging that it exists. So there it is, I have a problem with being selfish. This issue pours into all other aspects of my life, especially the small stuff. I am selfish with my time, selfish with my wife, selfish with my things, selfish with my abilities. Whenever I am shown some of that, it makes me cringe. That's where Heather comes into play. She is usually the one who points out those things and it is exceptionally hard to hear from her since she is the one who I never want to let down. The thing about that is, and I hope that everyone has someone like this, when she points something out like that, she shows me grace. She does not give me a free pass, but I never doubt the fact that she loves me and that will never change. She is a great picture of the way that God relates to each of His children. He promises to discipline us but His love for us and His grace never change.

Sorry to divert the conversation a bit right there, so back to it. Selfishness is like a drug which, once in the veins, begins to run through the entire system, not missing a spot. It infects every aspect of my life. I am thankful that it seems t have gotten a bit better, although Heather would be a better judge of that than me. I guess the point of this post is that it's good to know that it's not about me. That takes a load of pressure off. I don't have to continue to manipulate situations in order to feel good about myself or to get the joy that I seek. Seeing the world without me-colored glasses also enriches the relationships that you would have. You are not concerned with your own needs but can really focus on the other person and that leads to a deeper, mre fruitful interaction. Anyway, what glasses are you wearing today?

PS...Sorry about the promise of a double dip yesterday...it was postponed until today. Have fun with it.